God Makes Mistakes, Too

We've had movies where the audience didn't understand what movie they had just seen. For example the Lord of the Rings movies. Well, at least those who didn't read the books didn't understand most of the movies.

Then we've had movies where the music composer didn't understand what movie he was composing (or plagiarising) music for. Example, the historical mujra, Asoka.

Then there have been movies where the actors didn't understand what movie they were acting in, for example the Harry Potter movies.

But rare is the masterpiece where the director himself seems not to understand what movie he is making. And as we know, a director is the boss, and the creator of the movie. He is to the movie what god is to the universe (for those who believe in the god, that is). And sometimes, you know, you really need to say, Rab Ne Bana Di Khichdi.

This is the case of Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, the latest from the Aditya Chopra (aka Rab) school of loving. No, you dirty mind, it doesn't involve anything that happens on the couch or the bed. So you have Shahrukh "Khan Is King" who for once is not very Kingly - for a princely amount of half an hour - as a Punjab Power employee named Surinder. He bumps into Tani, an attractive bride-to-be, who conveniently happens to be his teacher's daughter, and who equally conveniently loses her bridegroom-to-be just before her marriage.

Now in Aditya Chopra's (aka Rab's) world there is no point to a girl's life except getting married, so the star-struck lass is handed over to Mr Electric who, unfortunately, is anything but electrifying with his soda-bottle glasses, moustache and severely parted hair. On accomplishing this hand-over operation, Tani's old man decides to call it a life as well. However, as any girl in the Rab's world, Tani takes it up, though not with much enthu.

And so life goes on, for half an hour, with Mr Electric secretly doting on his young and pretty wife while the wife dotes on her past and does chores. Rab at this point correctly realised that this script was going nowhere fast, so he had to do something, and he did - enter the dance course plus competition for the best jodi. Tani joins the course, and so does a de-moustached and gelled Mr Electrifying aka Raj. If you've heard the name before, that's the work of Rab. Not that Mr Electrifying is really electrifying - he's a jerk, irritates the viewer and basically is just a little more enjoyable than Himesh Reshammiya singing at full blast with cats sliding down blackboards providing background music. But hey, the script needs to move, the girl needs to have something to do with her time and needs to like someone, so Mr Electrifying it is.

Of course, neither Tani nor any of her fellow dance students notice the curious coincidence that Electric and Electrifying seem to look and sound somewhat similar. Fret not - it's the Will of Rab. And with the exception of one solitary mechanic, no one in the whole town notices or comments upon Mrs Electric roaming more with Electrifying than with her hubby. Truly it must be the divine influence of Rab which makes the town so open-minded.

Rab was right - the entry of Mr Electrifying took the script somewhere. Unfortunately, Rab couldn't for the life of him figure out exactly where it took the script. And so, we are treated to the spectacle of a character who looks like he might, or might not, be suffering from Multiple-Personality Disorder dealing with problems of the heart in the most pointless ways imaginable. Fret not, Rab is still working on it.

One really feels sorry for Anushka Sharma. The girl is cute and fairly competent and you get the feeling she could actually do good acting under guidance from a Nagesh Kukunoor or a Ashotosh Gowariker. Unfortunately, she gets what must be the stupidest non-retarded female character in cinema, a woman who cannot recognise her husband once he shaves his moustache and gels his hair, and a woman who cannot see the loving hand of Punjab Power even when the city selectively blacks out so the that the shaved and gelled guy can give her the "I love you" message. Yet, for all the limitations of the character, Anushka does a fair job. Not her fault Rab screwed her world.

The King is far more bearable, sometimes even endearing, when he's a regular guy than when he's the King. He too makes the most of what he can with such a hopelessly confused character(s).

As for Rab, though, he should be looking for a new line of work. Himesh might be looking for someone to throw the cats on the blackboard, maybe Rab could try his hand at that.